Wedding etiquette rules have changed over time. Basic etiquette and some common sense are still necessary regardless. Here are some of the mod common questions we hear over and over.

1. How do I make sure all of my guests RSVP?

Allow guests between 2 and 3 weeks to RSVP. Registering a free wedding webpage with RSVP options and enclosing pre-stamped return envelopes with invitations makes it more convenient for guests to promptly reply. Mark a deadline of 3 weeks before the big day on the RSVP card, leaving you plenty of time to hear back and give your vendors a final head count.A week to 10 days before the wedding call (or have a member of the bridal party call) those you still haven’t heard from.Wedding EtiquettePhoto by Ben Elsass Photography

2. What should I do if I can’t afford to be a bridesmaid?

Bridesmaids’ costs can really add up. That’s why you should get a clear idea from the bride of what expenses to anticipate before you agree to be in her bridal party. Expect to pay for your complete ensemble, hair, makeup, travel, and part of the bridal shower and bachelorette parties (speak with the Maid of Honor for details on the last two).

3. Can we skip cutting the cake?

Sure! You may want the cake without the big show, or you may opt for a Viennese hour or doughnut bar instead of a traditional cake. Just make the experience your own and know that dessert is the signal for guests to leave when they want.

4. How do we ask guests to not use their Mobile devises at our wedding?

It’s usually distracting when guests take pictures at weddings, especially when they’re blocking the professional photographersand sightline of other guests. Have your wedding coordinator orofficiant request that guests turn off their mobile devices and refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony– inject a little humor into the announcement and add that photos will be sent out later.

5. Do I have to invite my coworkers to our wedding?

You are not obligated to invite coworkers to your wedding, but if you do invite some, it’s best to pick a distinct grouping so no one’s feelings get hurt (for example invite only the members of your department). Send invitations to coworkers’ homes and avoid wedding talk in the office.

6. How do we deal with guests who want to bring their children to our wedding?

It’s totally up to you if you don’t want kids at your wedding.Make your choice clear in the invitations by listing invited guests by name and consider calling guests with children to let them know that your wedding is not kid friendly and you hope they can still attend. If guests RSVP with their children’s names,call again and respectfully, yet firmly, remind them that children are not permitted. If you do want some kids to attend, set clear guidelines for who can and cannot bring their children (having only the flower girl and ring bearer is completely acceptable, as is inviting children of immediate relatives only). Even if guests pressure you to let them bring their little ones, don’t make exceptions– that would be unfair to those who found a sitter to celebrate your big day.

7. Should we tip all wedding vendors and how much is appropriate?

Tipping is highly discretionary. Gratuity is typically expected for hair stylists and makeup artists [15-25%], reception staff and drivers (15-20% if gratuity is not included in contract), and you should make a donation to your ceremony institution if it’s a place of worship [$500+]. You definitely don’t need to tip business owners (unless they’ve gone way above and beyond), but giving a little something to their employees, including delivery and set-up staff [$10-15 per person], musicians [$20-25, $50-150 for DJs], and photographers [$50-250] is a nice gesture if they’ve done a good job.


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